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Hi Friends,
I'll be honest—this email's a little longer than usual. But that's because life has been lifing. I mean, really—I blinked, summer flew right by, and somehow, we've landed in November already. So with everything we've been up to—and what I'm seeing happening with one of our young Black women in the media—I could barely contain myself.
So go ahead and 🎵 kick off your shoes and relax your feet 🎵 (shoutout to my fellow Gen X'ers and '90s babies who caught that Xscape reference). Grab your tea (or your coffee, or whatever helps you unwind), because we're diving into a few things today: where TCI's been, what's next, meeting new board members, mentees, and mentors—and a question that's been tugging at me: How did we lose a girl like Chrisean Rock? |
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| | | It's been a minute since we last connected, but trust me—The Collective Identity has been moving. From new mentees to rooftop mixers and deep, soul-level conversations, this season has been about growth, grounding, and gratitude.
On September 5, 2025, we hosted our first event of the semester at the historically Black-owned Redline Hotel in Venice, which generously donated its stunning rooftop space to us.
If you've never been, let me tell you, it's a hidden gem. The Redline is an intimate boutique hotel with only six suites, each designed like a one-bedroom apartment—complete with a full kitchen, spa-style bathroom, cozy living area, and a projector for movie nights. Whether you're visiting L.A. or need a quick staycation, this place has Black-owned excellence written all over it.
The rooftop? Everything. Ocean breeze, golden-hour glow, and panoramic views that reminded us why community feels so good when it's wrapped in beauty. We had a refreshment station, a spot for coats and purses, and a Zoom setup that came in handy so one of our potential mentors, who was away on a business trip, could virtually meet the mentee we thought would be her perfect match. (Spoiler alert: they're now happily paired—it's a match made in mentorship heaven!) |
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That night, our largest group yet came together for an evening of connection, laughter, and discovery. When recruiting mentors, we aim to pair them with mentees whose personal, academic, and professional goals complement their own.
Our mentees rotated through mini "speed-mentoring" sessions, taking notes, swapping stories, and soaking it all in. We closed by having each mentor share a bit about who they are, what they value, and how they approach mentorship. By the end of the evening, most of our mentees couldn't narrow their picks down to just three (and honestly, who could?).
One week later, mentor-mentee matches were revealed, and the joy was palpable—smiles, hugs, and a few exclamations of "YES!" filled the room.
We're now two and a half months into the school year, and the energy is contagious. The girls are showing up with purpose, confidence, and a sense of belonging that reminds me exactly why TCI exists. |
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A Sneak Peek into Our Confabs: Where Growth Meets Grace |
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Each semester, our TCI Confabs are intentionally curated to flow into one another, each conversation building upon the last. We start with connection, move into reflection, and close with empowerment.
The goal is simple: to help our girls see the link between who they are, what they feel, and how they move through the world. |
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This fall, we've been focusing on wellness and what makes us healthy. Our first wellness discussion began with the Strong Black Woman Schema — where it started, what it means, how it shows up, and how to release what no longer serves us. This conversation was layered, vulnerable, and freeing. We talked about everything from crying and burnout to joy and rest.
Most of us admitted that we hate crying (myself included), but one of our girls dropped a gem that stopped us in our tracks: "You know, I love crying. I feel like crying is freedom." |
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Wellness as a Black Woman — With Vanessa Simmons |
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After exploring the Strong Black Woman Schema, it only made sense that our next confab dove into what it truly means to care for ourselves—body, mind, and spirit.
We had the absolute joy of welcoming Vanessa Simmons—actress, entrepreneur, and creator of u4ia —into our space for a conversation that was part healing circle, part masterclass in self-preservation.
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Almost everyone in the room confessed they felt exhausted during the fall semester—and that it happens every year! It was Jessica, our incredible Associate Director, who named what we were all feeling. Jessica reminded us that this fatigue is normal—especially as we enter the last quarter of the year. |
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By the time the fall semester rolls around, everyone's running on fumes. Our mentors and staff have full-time jobs, families, and other commitments. Our mentees are taking five or six classes, and most of them worked or interned full-time over the summer. |
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Vanessa has been a longtime friend and supporter of TCI, gifting us past experiences like yoga sessions, sound baths, and smoothie-and-paint sips.
This time, she joined us for something more profound—a discussion about what real wellness looks like for Black women who carry so much and give even more. |
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So by the time Q4 hits, we're tired—and that's okay. That's why conversations about wellness are essential. They remind us that we don't have to push through every season at full speed. We can slow down, rest, and recalibrate—and still call that success. |
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We redefined wellness on our own terms:
✨ Crying isn't weakness—it's release.
✨ Saying "no" is self-care.
✨ Movement doesn't have to be intense or perfect. We just have to do it. We have to exercise or take walks. ✨ Nature heals. Sitting in the grass, being near water, feeling the sun—all of it counts. ✨ Journaling or voice notes on your phone help release the thoughts you've tucked away.
By the end, the room felt lighter—like we had all collectively exhaled. For our girls, it was a powerful reminder that strength doesn't mean suppressing emotions. It means knowing when to rest, when to reset, and when to let yourself be.
And remember there comes a point when we must exhale. |
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Leading with Vulnerability — Our Philosophy of Mentorship |
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That conversation couldn't have come at a better time—because the truth is, I needed that reminder too. This past summer wasn't just busy—it was heavy.
TCI had to take a backseat to my own well-being, not by choice but by necessity. Without going too deep, a series of pivots put me into a depression I hadn't felt since 2017. Few newsletters were going out, no fundraising emails, no event planning—just me, trying to make it through the day. On some days, taking a shower felt like an accomplishment. On other days, searching for and reaching out to potential mentors for our upcoming cohort felt like a miracle.
I shared this openly with our girls during our confab because I wanted them to know that it happens to all of us—and it's okay not to be okay. Perfection isn't the goal; presence is. I also encourage our mentors to be just as vulnerable. Mentorship isn't about perfection—it's about reality. My reality is I’m a Black woman who copes with anxiety and depression, and I’m not ashamed. The reality is that we're not always perfect, and perpetuating that image is exhausting and can be detrimental to the next generation of Black women.
Silence can make you feel alone—and that can be the kiss of death to your overall wellness.So, as mentors, we have to be vulnerable about our Black woman experience. Jessica, called and checked in on me often. She celebrated the days I ate, the days I showered, the days I chose to keep going.
And in those moments, I realized something important: sometimes, wellness isn't about grand gestures—it's about giving yourself and others grace when life feels unbearable.That's what we model for our mentees. We don't lead from perfection; we lead from real-talk honesty. We want them to know that resilience doesn't always look like a perfectly tied bow. Sometimes it seems like tears, naps, late starts, and small wins that no one sees but you.
This is why wellness is so essential—and why we thank Vanessa profusely for doing her part with TCI to promote it. We want the next generation of Black women to be healthy. |
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How Did We Lose a Girl Like Chrisean? |
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Now, let me switch gears for a minute—because something's been sitting heavy on my heart.
I'm a proud Gen-X'er—or as the girls sometimes like to remind me, "Nicole, you're so old!" (Old head or not, Gen-X is still the best generation. Period! 😂) But I'll admit—it took Jessica, my millennial counterpart, to explain to this old head who Blueface and Chrisean Rock even were. From the minute I saw the circus unfold, I was jaw-dropped, saying, "WTF?" while shocked and dismayed. |
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| For those of you who don't know who they are: Blueface is a rapper from L.A., and Chrisean Rock is his on again off again girlfriend whose rise came through reality TV and social media. Their relationship has become a public spectacle: dramatic, violent, chaotic, and heartbreaking. Unfortunately, we're watching two young people unravel in front of millions. |
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So I did what I always do when something weighs on me: I researched. And what I learned broke my heart. Chrisean was an athlete. A runner. She grew up in Baltimore—one of twelve kids—with a father who was incarcerated and a mother reportedly battling addiction.
But even then, she had something special. |
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At Arundel High School, she ran the 100 m in 12.96 seconds and the 200 m in 26.82, later competing in the Junior Olympics. |
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To put that in perspective: Florence Griffith-Joyner (Flo-Jo)—the fastest woman ever—set the world record in the 100 m at 10.49 seconds during the 1988 U.S. Olympic Trials. The second fastest is Elaine Thompson-Herah of Jamaica at 10.54 seconds (2021), and Sha'Carri Richardson holds the 2023 World Athletics Championship record at 10.65 seconds. So when you realize that Chrisean was running just 2.5 seconds slower than Flo-Jo—while still in high school—you understand the magnitude of her natural talent. |
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She attended Santa Monica College—right here in TCI's backyard—before going on to compete and even win $10,000 on FOX's Ultimate Tag by finishing the course in 50 seconds flat, all of this before joining the cast of Baddies and starring in a reality show centered on her relationship with Blueface.
And all I can think is: when—and how—did we lose a girl with that much potential? |
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And that's where I can't help but wonder: What if TCI had existed on the SMC campus back then?
What if she'd had a Black woman mentor—a student-athlete who understood pressure, identity, and resilience?
What if she had a mentor now? Someone who doesn’t care about the fame, the money, or the spotlight.Someone who just cares for Chrisean—no judgment, just real talk, truth, and love.
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I'll keep it real—right now, TCI doesn't have the wraparound services to help girls in crisis like Chrisean. Not yet. But one day, we will. One day, we'll have caseworkers, therapists, mentors, and advocates who can meet young women right where they are—with love, structure, and accountability.
One day, we'll have TCI-XY, a brother program serving the "Bluefaces" of the world—Black boys who also need guidance, purpose, and healing. Because if we're going to save our girls, we can't forget the boys, too. |
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From Reflection to Real Impact: Meet the Women Who Make TCI Magic |
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So before I close, I want to introduce you to a few of the incredible women who are shaping the next chapter of TCI—with heart, humor, and unstoppable drive.
If you’ve been with us a while, you know I love introducing you to the incredible people who make TCI what it is—our board members, mentors, and mentees.
These women remind me every day that when passion meets purpose, nothing can stop what’s meant to grow. |
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We’re thrilled to welcome Nicole Davis to The Collective Identity’s Board of Directors!
Nicole has been a friend of TCI since 2020, and now she’s officially joined our team!
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We’re so excited to have her a dedicated advocate for the next generation, Nicole is passionate about expanding opportunities for young people to lead, thrive, and shape the future. She brings to the board a strategic mindset, deep commitment to community empowerment, and a strong network of philanthropic and social impact leaders.
That’s the kind of energy we love here at TCI. |
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Meet Ambi: Our Rising Star |
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Ambi Butler
3rd year MFA student majoring in Film & Television Production (Directing Track) |
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Every cohort has that one mentee who brings the real—who shows up every single time with her whole heart and the right questions. For us, that's Ambi. She's intentional, grounded, and driven.
So when it came time to find her a mentor, I knew she needed someone special.
And when I say I scoured, I mean I scoured. I found the perfect mentor and I sent messages, with no response.
And if you know me, you know once I decide one of my girls needs you, it's gonna take heaven and high water to stop me. Once I gave serious thought about booking a fake appointment with a neurosurgeon to get her attention for another mentee—yes, I am that determined!— Don’t worry I didn’t do it…. but I thought about it! 😂 |
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| Fast-forward a few weeks: I'm standing outside Jeni's Ice Cream during a fundraiser. It was one of those "get up and push through" days—I was still in the thick of depression, but I showed up. And who walks by? A woman who pauses and says, "I've heard of this!"
Intrigued I asked, "Really, where do you work?" and she says, "Higher Ground Productions."
"Wait—what's your name?" I ask.
"Anikah," she says.
Y'all—it was her! The same woman I'd been trying to reach to mentor Ambi. I laughed right there on the sidewalk and said, "I've been looking for you!"
And now? Ambi and Anikah are officially matched—and they are thriving. |
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Why Your Support Matters Right Now |
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If you’ve made it this far — thank you. Truly. I know this was a long one, but it wasn’t just an update. It was a reminder of why we exist, why we fight for our girls, and why your support is urgently needed right now.
Because here’s the alarming truth:The current political climate wants our erasure.
Funding for organizations and communities serving marginalized communities is being cut at unprecedented levels. DEI rollbacks have hit us the hardest. Commitments made in 2020 and 2021 are quietly disappearing. Pathways once created for our girls are shutting down. Opportunities are shrinking while the need grows louder and more urgent. And through all of this, our girls are still showing up.
Still studying. Still interning. Still healing. Still dreaming. Still fighting to build futures.
But they cannot — and should not — do it alone.
If you believe in this work, if you believe Black girls deserve support, safety, guidance, and space to grow, I’m asking you to stand with us today.
Your gift — of any size — directly fuels the mentoring, meals, rides, workshops, and wellness spaces that keep our girls grounded and thriving.
Together, we can ensure that no Black girl ever has to navigate this world alone.
Together, we protect the futures they’re fighting for.
Thank you for believing in TCI, and thank you for believing in our girls.
I hope we can count on your support!
With gratitude, Nicole Lynn Founder, President and Executive Director. |
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